So, my friend just gave me a box of rubber bands. It has been no secret here and to her that I cut. She knows how hard I tried to keep clean and even get help. I went on months being clean before, but now, things are too overwhelming, my emotions and perceptions too negative.
I get urges. A lot. So not new there. Still, this is the first time someone gave me something to help me cope with the urges. The very few people that know I cut (a lot) usually told me stuff, but no one actually did more than that.
I tried some shit, but that didn’t work. She reminded me of using rubber bands since it brings a feeling closer to my cuts. Tried it earlier to test. Yup, it hurt. I was so not in the mood to harm myself so it hurt more than usual, but I was also happy.
I am not too keen on using it to quell my urges, but knowing that someone out there cares so much about me… I just couldn’t stop the raw happy feeling inside me burst. This is real happiness for me.
Thank you, friend. :)
You are one of my best friends, and I am so thankful that I got to know you. *heart*heart*
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